(İHalf Man Half Biscuit 1986)

Mention The Lord of the Rings one more time
And I'll more than likely kill you.
Moorcock, Moorcock, Michael Moorcock you fervently moan.
Is this a [...] that you sholve down my throat,
Or are you just pleased to see me?
Brian Moore's head looks uncannily like London Planetarium.

And all those people
Who you, romantically,
Like to still believe are alive,
Are dead!
So I'll wipe my snots
On the arm of your chair
As you put another Roger Dean poster
On the wall.

God, I could murder a Cadbury's Flake!
Then I guess you wouldn't let me into heaven.
Or maybe you would because they're like' there to promote oral sex!
A Romani beams in a field with her paints,
Suggesting we faint at her beauty,
But she's got "Dickie Davis Eyes!"

Artist Comment: "The sort of things Oxford professors of Old English do when they have too much spare time. Due to popular demand, virtually every scrap of paper he has ever written on has been published, including the totally unreadable "Unfinished Tales.""

Back Again In The D.H.S.S. (LP/tape 1987)
Back Again In The D.H.S.S. (VHS Video 1987)
ACD (CD 1988)
The New Sessions (Granada TV show 1991)
Live At Derby Warehouse (Video, 1993)